Wednesday, August 24, 2016

No Holiday for Misandry

The foot-in-the-mouth virus makes a  post-monsoon comeback with Smt.Maneka Gandhi showing clarity of confusion with her "Paternity leave will be just a holiday for men" statement while speaking about the Maternity Benefit Bill. http://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-news-india/paternity-leave-will-be-just-a-holiday-for-men-says-maneka-gandhi-2993274/

Although said with sarcasm, the Women and Child Development Minister unintentionally admitted that men work harder than women and therefore "men do not even avail their existing leave entitlements to share the responsibility of child care". A little indulgence of forethought required of any deserving Minister would have revealed to her that men in India cannot afford to take leave from work since it is mostly men who take on the responsibility of maintaining the family financially. How else can we explain the existence of multiple maintenance provisions only against men?
 
The confusion gets a little worse if we consider the fact that women's rights advocates actually lament the absence of care of pregnant women by the husbands and can even be termed as domestic violence by way of negligence. Damned if you 'leave' it and damned if you dont.

However, for all intents and purposes it is not the mandate or duty or right of any WCD Minster to discuss the welfare or affairs of men even though ministers get elected on the basis of mixed gender votes and use the taxes which are almost completely paid by men.

It seems that the WCD Minister is the one who definitely has taken a holiday from sensibility, therefore we pray to the WCD Minister to take an unpaid leave of absence and reset her misandry index back to zero. I say unpaid because most of the taxes are paid by men who work and earn by not taking leave.

On the bright side it is a welcome change for WCD to be finally talking of 'safeguards' and 'misuse' of provisions of the Maternity Benefit Bill by women. Thats a start!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

How Dowry, Maintenance and Alimony is not allowing women to live with dignity

The true evil of Dowry

Ask anyone this question: What is dowry? Most would say it is the price paid by a woman or her family to get her to be accepted for marriage by a potential husband. Now there are several questions that are hidden in plain sight within this explanation.


If dowry is a recognized crime and everyone is supposed to know this, then what prevented the woman or her family to walk away from such an exchange, if it was indeed demanded? This is in view of the often lamented ‘fact’ that there are more boys on Indian soil than women. Which means that women have more choice and can afford to reject dowry seekers.  If women as such are being ‘objectified’ by the Indian male then it stands to reason that women are more in demand than men. In which case, it would be logical for men to pay dowry to women, since women have more choice and more bargaining power.


It must be told to all Indian parents that adult daughters in the family should not be seen as useless piece of furniture or cattle incapable of sustaining or earning for themselves. Dowry is the symptom of a mindset where people see an adult daughter as a piece of brainless entity who is always in need of regular maintenance and upkeep in the form of food, clothing and lodging.


Dowry is a bribe to any man who unwittingly accepts the responsibility to look after a certified life-long victim who has declared herself incapable of standing up for her own dignity. Therefore dowry is a crime in more ways than one and actually perpetrated by the giver.

There are a few glass items that society has ignored for too long. It is possible that these glass items are so transparent it was invisible or it is possible that it was so opaque that light of sensibility got refracted. It is also possible that people were so busy looking up at the ceiling that they neglected to see what is in front of them.

The glass cage
This is the self imprisonment of the female psyche into a state of victim-hood. How else can we explain the fact that many highly educated women with professional qualifications talk about being victims of dowry. Who is to blame here? The woman herself, or for the sake of convenience, her parents. These are the very same parents who poured hard earned money into her education. No parent across the world would educate a child on the assumption that the child would grow up and become financially dependent on them. Also, there is no educational syllabus in the world which tells women that they need to depend on others for their livelihood.


In the context of arranged marriages, why would Indian parents be so desperate to shower dowry on the groom to get rid of their daughters by marriage. Is it because they think that their daughters are incapable of living and earning for themselves. Or are they trying to gift-wrap some psychological, emotional or medical handicap?


Whatever the reason, this form of victim-hood, whether forced by parents or self assumed by many women, is a form of a glass cage which many women have come to carefully nurture, cherish and refuse to let go. This has serious implications for their own future and the future of the upcoming generations


The glass bowl
Once the idea of victim-hood has been strongly embedded either by herself or by her parents or through government sponsored programs, the woman somehow holds herself against her logical thought process and encourages herself to behave like a parasite on whoever she feels is responsible for her upkeep. She forgets that every individual of mature age is responsible for themselves. Many women who can logically plot the route and plan their logistics to lawyer’s offices and courts somehow just stop themselves short of plotting their the route to their own earned livelihood and dignified living. In this age of realized equality, any woman who she knows how to spend, also ought to know that she can also earn and not leech on the father or the husband, whether she is single, married or separated or divorced.


If we ask any female college student why she wants to pursue a higher education, she will tell you about her higher aspirations of work, livelihood, ambitions, service to society and so on. Why then do women seek maintenance when they get married and why then do women seek alimony when they want to get out of the marriage. Is this not an insult to all women who have made it on their own in the world? Is this not a gross disservice and insult to all the girls to grow up thinking it is their fate to ultimately financially depend on men? It is an irony that women activists who vociferously objected to the word ‘keep’ applied to women in a Supreme Court judgement maintain ominous silence on this ongoing onslaught on women’s dignity by the legal provisions of maintenance and alimony.


Maintenance at most can be justified on fixed short term basis only for disabled spouses who would have sustained the disability during the marriage.

Asset distribution at most can be justified as share of the combined savings of both partners during the subsistence of the marriage, but it is not a free-loading retirement benefit scheme and neither is it an incentive for divorce.

If these concepts of Dowry, Matrimonial Maintenance and Alimony are not uprooted and relegated to the documented past, there is a danger that even future generations of women will never realise true empowerment and dignity. I for one cannot stand by and allow my teenaged daughter to grow up and become a parasite on another man and kill her potential for survival and aspirations as envisaged by the Beti Bachao Beti Padhao campaign. What about you? 

For a Hindi translation of above, click here

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Radio Talk Show on International Men's Day

Radio Talk Show on International Men's Day


Originally Recorded and Aired by Bol Hyderabad Community Radio 90.4 FM

Broadcast dates: 3 Nov 2015 18:30 hrs IST

Speakers: Uma Challa, Aravind and Partha TR

Languages: Telugu and English


Your browser does not support this audio

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Know your Movember Origins


 Listen to TED talk by

Adam Garone: Healthier men, one moustache at a time






Friday, October 9, 2015

Press Release- VAMBAM- Violence Against Men And Boys Awareness Month - Oct 2015

PRESS RELEASE- #VAMBAM
 ALL INDIA MEN’S WELFARE ASSOCIATION
HELPLINE FOR MEN & BOYS IN DISTRESS: 888 2 498 498


There is a very visible absence of any protection, support system or forums to look into the many aspects of the well being of males. This absence of any framework to address men’s issues has encouraged violence by women against men and boys. All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA) was formed on 11 October 2009 to create awareness about  the many issues faced by men and boys and to promote men’s welfare.

VAMBAM: Today on the eve of the 6th anniversary of its conception, AIMWA has launched a month long campaign to bring into focus the issue of Violence against Men and Boys. From October 1 to October 31 we will be observing “Violence Against Men and Boys Awareness Month” (#VAMBAM) by conducting a series of campaigns to bring awareness to society about the different forms of abuse inflicted on men and masculinity by women.
  • Physical abuse-                      pushing, slapping, beating, kicking, punching
  • Verbal abuse-                      name calling, nagging, insulting
  • Emotional and mental abuse-    blackmailing, threatening
  • Financial abuse-              unreasonable monetary demands, spying and controlling spending, demanding complete control over finances

There is compelling data on female violence on men. But instead of addressing the problem, International agencies and government departments and NGOs are suppressing facts, spreading lies and  thereby promoting violence against men.

The following events unravel that there is a systematic, agenda driven, politically motivated campaign to degrade, malign, and destroy everything that is associated with maleness:

  • The Chief Minister of Gujarat referred to boys as ‘Rejected maal’ in a school function in front of children, paving the way for people to view boys as somehow inferior
  • The Delhi CM has started to give monetary rewards to women who abuse, manhandle, beat up men in public, making it an incentive for anyone to abuse men in public
  • The Minister of WCD has given out a public statement that “all violence is male generated”. This can now be seen as a virtual green signal by the government to go ahead and bash up men and boys in public.
  • When asked her opinion about men these days, actress Nandita Das replied  “All men are potential rapists” in a Times of India interview. These kind of irresponsible, hate statements made by film artists and so called activist is nothing but a call to violence against men and boys.
  • By way of financial grants and narratives of ‘positive discrimination’, Educational Institutions are being used to promote feelings of guilt in male children just for the fact of being male.
  • Corporates are being choked to financial death by forcing them to create quasi-legal platforms that victimize male employees
  • Transport systems are being forced to create segregation policies to popularize the thinking that males are dirty, filthy and lechers. Now any man who accidentally steps into a women’s only coach is liable to be beaten up and humiliated publicly and such lynching will be applauded internationally. In a Delhi Metro rail, men were beaten up by women passengers and security women for entering a ladies only coach. These incidents have repeated themselves which show how badly men and boys are being treated in society.

All the above are very carefully constructed efforts to escalate the war against men and boys and to destroy the fabric of gender-harmony.

Recent examples of Violence Against Men & Boys:

  • There is an epidemic of news reports which have shown how men are being killed by wives’ having extra-marital affairs.
  • Young boys are being killed by mothers for financial reasons, extra-marital affairs etc.,
  • Men being tortured and forced to commit suicide
  • Men being blackmailed for money on fake rape allegations
  • Men being burnt alive
  • Acid attacks on men

VAMBAM Agenda:

  • To sensitize society about the rampant Violence against Men and Boys
  • To change the popular mindset that Violence against men and boys is humorous
  • To encourage people that it is also important to help to stop female violence against men and boys
  • To encourage boys and men to break their silence if they have experienced violence even if done by women

VAMBAM October Events:

  1. A Fake Story : JustMean by SIFAR: Published on 29th September 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gxGUabZ3po&feature=youtu.be
  2. Satyagraha by SIFK, Bangalore on 2 Oct 2015
  3. Deployment of twitter hashtag #VAMBAM on Saturday 10th, October 2019
  4. Launch a support system for male victims of sexual abuse. http://www.thehindu.com/data/the-many-shades-of-rape-cases-in-delhi/article6261042.ece It has been reported by The Hindu news article that out of 460 cases tried in 2008 in Delhi area, 281 cases were either of consenting couples or eloped couples. So, there are a large number of cases where the men and women were in a sexual relationship and which out of some societal pressure or emotional pressure, the man was made to undergo the humiliation and rigours of being a rape accused. In a good number of cases, the sexual advances are made by adult women, who use blackmail as a weapon to push the boy or man into a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. This is nothing  but sexual exploitation of men where the man is physically, mentally, emotionally and financially exploited to the extreme all for the sake of love for a woman.
  5. Engage the public with radio talk shows on community radio, video podcasts etc.,

Links to all online references:
http://vambamlinks.blogspot.com/2015/10/links.html

Saturday, October 3, 2015

International Men's Day 2015





Twitter handle: #InternationalMensDay

International Men’s Day is a day to commemorate and reflect on the many values, contributions and accomplishments that are attributed to men. Beginning with the discovery of fire and invention of the wheel to the Mars Orbiter Mission, the journey of man has transcended both time and space, but we somehow remain in the same circle of hope, apathy & despair.

Mankind thrives on inspiration which is best symbolized in the spirit of freedom. This is the spirit that overthrows oppression and tyranny, the spirit that invents and innovates, the spirit that nourishes and cares.

International Men’s Day is the day to celebrate all the positive male values that make us human and also makes us uniquely human.

IMD is also an effort to improve gender relations and use benign gender sensitivity to understand and appreciate a long misunderstood gender because of its generally stoic nature

November 19 of each year has been celebrated as the International Men’s Day (IMD). In India, IMD was first celebrated with a car and bike rally in Mumbai in 2007, In Hyderabad it was i2009. Each year IMD celebrations grew in size and we saw IMD being endorsed by the HE range of deodorants in 2014.

Every year, IMD is celebrated with a theme. This year’s theme deals with Male Health issues..

It is well known that the average male life-expectancy is 5 years lower than the female life-expectancy. Men suffer many ailments which are usually attributed to their workaholism. But it is also true that men take on much higher stress and is linked to their non-expression of emotional issues. Research spending on male health is a fraction on what is spent on female health issues.

Posts by medical health professionals:We are expecting medical and psychological health professionals to contribute by posting their short synopses or online links of male health issues to be displayed on this page.

Generally speaking, there is an absence of gender-research organizations or programmes to look into male-related issues. Through this page and this commemorative date, we wish to encourage individuals, groups, corporate entities and male-oriented product brands to promote and conduct events, surveys, discussions on this topic.

Event suggestions: Rallies, Mixers-Blenders, foodie group events, seminars, art-expositions, selfie contests, twitter feeds, talk shows, stand-up comedy shows, Employee/employer appreciations, male-specific brand promotions, group health-checkups, charity work,

Call for sharing their plans for IMD
Download Resources link: 

Post your event pics and experiences: Please post your links either on to this page or send an email of thoughts, pictures, videos to share your experiences's

Saturday, September 26, 2015

'Combating Online Violence Against Women & Girls: A Worldwide Wake-Up Call' - A waste of a good coffee





‘Majority of women suffer online abuse says UN Report’; reads the early morning coffee news item. This is enough to make me want to go back to the safety of my sleep. But it is time again to unravel these mysterious statements by the UN.


The report goes on to talk about ‘cyber violence’ and further says that ‘India is one of the countries where reporting about cyber bullying is low’. Again and again we hear of these ‘unreported’ cases somehow being ‘reported’ perhaps telepathically from victim to UN report makers. Or does the UN also employ tarot cards and astrologers’ parrots to pick a number. More on that in a moment.   

Let’s take a break to refill the coffee mug. Things are about to get more interesting.


The report named 'Combating Online Violence Against Women & Girls: A Worldwide Wake-Up Call'. The quotes go on as such ‘only 35% women in India reported their victimization while a larger majority 46.7% had not. About 18.3% were not even aware that they had been victimized’ Now coming to the interesting part, which poses a few serious questions.

  1. How did they know the exact figure of 46.7% had not reported victimization when it was not reported? Are the UN reporters on some kind of medication that made them hallucinate?
  2. How did the UN know it was just 35% of women who reported abuse when they did not know how many actually faced the abuse? How does the UN know the actual number of women who are online? Is the UN secretly stalking these women? Does the UN realize it is a crime?
  3. How could 18.3% not even be aware that they had been victimized? Is this the online analogy of telling someone that they were sleep walking, or is it just a covert message being sent to women to get in touch with their ‘feelings’ about being abused?
  4. Where is the report on how many men face online abuse?
  5. Where is the report on how many men have ‘not reported’ their online abuse?
  6. Where the report on how many men are not even aware that they have been victimized by these UN reports?


The report goes on (..and on and on) to says that women in the age range of 18 to 24 are ‘uniquely likely’ to experience stalking and sexual harassment in addition to physical threats. The above statement can only be made by an unemployed astrologer desperate for some attention or it could be made by a very respectable body called the UN which has stopped being effective in curtailing real human issues and is now waging war against Men & Boys.


Seems like the UN is no longer a place where real humanitarian work takes place, nor does it stand for equality or justice anymore. This is evident from the end statement of the news report which reiterates the UN mandate as Sensitization, Safeguards and Sanctions- Sensitization of ‘feelings’ so that it can create  Safeguards against imaginary threats and impose Sanctions against about half of the human population. 

Addendum 1: For Your Information, UN please consider the following: https://twitter.com/CHSommers/status/647450208452878336



Addendum 2: 

Fact-checking the UN: Is the Internet dangerous for women?